I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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