I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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