Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
please come you make the beer taste better
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
