guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
