so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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