we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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