is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
