We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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