It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
