I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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