Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize