I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
