The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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