It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
