Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
