Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
