Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
