He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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