Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
