You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
