Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
porn star boner night. come get it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
