is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
