butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
