So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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