I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
