We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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