I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
home. puking in laundry basket.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
