She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
