Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
