Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kh669 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

Fav 33 3379 1047
share tweet
(416): View more from Toronto

How did it go last night?

(647): View more from Ontario

Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?

Fav 6 1554 1698
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words

Fav 0 1203 1078
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

Fav 4 3112 925
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

Fav 17 1885 1018
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

Fav 1 1371 691
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close

Fav 12 1974 724
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now

Fav 1 41 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent

Fav 0 15 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT