so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
