ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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