I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
