So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
