If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I know her cup size but not her name....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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