Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
