Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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