After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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