he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
