I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
