and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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