The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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