I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
