You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
