Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
