I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
