do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
worst night to have a conscience
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
