the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize