Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
