Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize