He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
