D3 body, D1 cock
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
