Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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