Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
