there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
