Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need water and some morals
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
